Happiness

SUCH A BEUTIFUL STORY

By Onyinye orabuike

 

Rube and Sara got married in high school. Rube was 17 and Sara was 15.  So very young for such huge commitment, but they were very much in love, and remained in love ever since. In the estate where we grew up, everyone called them Darling, including us kids. This was because they always address themselves with the same abbreviation.  “.....Darling could you help me with that cup over there on the sink,’ Rube would ask. “Oh no Darling, the new curtain is completely ruined”, Sara would cry. But you could always tell if it was Darling Sara or Darling Rube that spoke, for they both had quiet distinct voices.

Darling Rube had soft musical voice that had grown even softer with age. In contrast, Darling Sara talked with a Sharp rasping voice that sounded quit alive and youthful, despite the fact that she was already pushing eighty. You could hear her rasping voice all the way from the balcony of our house.

For the first first five years of my life, I lived under the presumption that they were twins, not until Frank told me they weren’t. “They are husband and wife.” he assured me, “because twins don’t marry.”  Why? I wanted to know, but Frank only shrugged. I could tell he didn’t know the reason any better than I did. But those days, my big brother never admitted ignorance.

My mother said they had been married for sixty years , and in all those years they had lived without a fight , not even as much as  an argument. Dad only laughed. Of course it was and an exaggeration, but he agreed that Rube and Sara’s love story was something out of the ordinarily. It is such a beautiful story, he had admitted.

The Darling’s are long dead and gone now, but trough the course on my growing up, I found out much more about their story, along with some parts that I wouldn’t have considered very nice when I was five. Here are some of the hurdles of life they were able to overcome and come out strong in the end.

Darling Rube and Darling Sara both grew up in a small orphanage.  Rube’s parents had died in a construction site accident when he was only two years old, but nothing was known about Sara’s folks.  She was just a little baby girl found at the back of an uncompleted building.  Each time Rube lamented the fact that none of his parent relatives cared enough to take him in when his parent were killed, Sara was quick to remind him she didn’t even have any relatives to be cross with, kind or unkind. Rube would laugh, and say, “ but we have each other now.”  They both had very good reasons to be unhappy or despondent but they chose to be happy instead, and their entire life was such a beautiful story.

The first few years after they got married, they had so little money, so they had to live in a single room apartment below an eatery. Rube worked as a butler while Sara worked as an attendant in the eatery. They could only take their bath and freshen up only in the evening after the eatery had closed.  They couldn’t afford the fancy foods that they liked but they kept themselves amused by pretending that they owned the eatery. Not too long after, they not only bought over the eatery but also owned many other top restaurants in the city. They retired rich, and life was ever so beautiful for them.

In the eleventh year of their marriage, Sara was involved in a skating accident that left her with a weak heart and a Limp. She withdrew into herself as a result and became obese soon after. Rube tried to talk her out of the depression but when his effort failed he sought professional help. Through the encouragement of the therapist, they both enrolled for a special fitness program. Rube didn’t really need the workout at that time but he enrolled and walked the whole mile every evening to the gym just to encourage her. They both continued to work out, long after Sara was certified fit. The reward was indeed awesome, for at 70, they both looked young and happy as though they were in their thirties.

 I could go on and on. They were able to overcome the loss of their home and all their properties during a fire incident and the death of their first son who was born terribly deformed. Though not without lots of hurdles like every one encounter at different stages in their life, theirs was such a beautiful story, and all they achieved was through cheer determination.

 The take home for me in all these is that if Sara and Rube could be happy, healthy, and successful despite their clumsy beginnings, anyone can. I have taken the time to analyse and appropriate the success and happiness principles they applied (albeit unwittingly), and its already working for me.  I am grown now and have my life well ahead of me, but I could tell already that life is beautiful.

 

 

How to Stop worrying and Start living

BY Onyinye Orabuike


Are you sad and discouraged?  Are you yearning for a time in the distant future when you would be finally happy? Perhaps after you must have secured that dream job, when you get married, or maybe when you have a lot of money or buy your dream car.  Do you realise that your worries and sadness may be driving those things you desire further away from you? More often than not, good things only happen to those who are happy and optimistic, and this is why I want you to be happy.

 

Study and master the following happiness principles and live forever young and happy.

Be strong and optimistic. Don't let negative circumstances and sadness creep into or ruin your life. Whenever you are sad, try to keep your head high. You should tell yourself that life is full of hopes, challenges and unexpected twists and turns of surprises.

Follow your heart .Understand yourself, your tastes, passion, and what makes you happy. Understand that you are unique and different from the next person and that what makes one person happy may be very different from what makes someone else happy. Spend a few minutes each day thinking about the things that make you happy. These few minutes will give you the opportunity to focus on the positive things in your life and will lead you to continued happiness.

Finding the humour in situations can also lead to happiness. While there are times that require you to be serious, when it is appropriate, find a way to make light of a situation that would otherwise make you unhappy.

 

Surround yourself with happy people.  Moods are infectious, and it is easy to begin to think negatively when you are surrounded by people who think that way. As a matter of fact, you owe it to yourself, to God, and to your loved ones to be happy at all times.

Look for solutions instead. When something goes wrong, try to figure out a solution instead of wallowing in self pity. Truly happy people don’t allow setbacks to affect their mood because they know that with a little thought they can turn the circumstances back to their favour.

 Dedicate a little time to helping others. It’s also important to take some time each day to do something nice not just for yourself but for others without expecting anything in return. Whether you treat yourself and your friends to a good meal, chat up a lonely old lady, or smile at a beggar, nothing beats the joy and fulfilment you get when you do something for someone without expecting anything in return.

Exercise and Recreation. Maintaining your health is another way to achieve happiness. Being overweight or not eating nutritious foods can have a negative effect on your mood. Additionally, exercise has been known to release endorphins that give you a feeling of happiness.

Finally, it is important to understand that you deserve happiness. Those who believe that they are not worthy of happiness may subconsciously sabotage their efforts to achieve happiness. If necessary, tell yourself each day that you deserve to be happy and remind yourself what steps you will take to achieve the happiness you desire. Focus on the kind of life you want to live instead of what your life seems to look like at the moment. Imagine yourself being that woman or man you desire to be and before you realise it, your positive mind-set will attract to you those things your heart desire for a life of fulfilment and lasting happiness.Bottom of Form

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